John Wayne Attitude

Ever get up in a John Wayne mood? I watched parts of Hondo and She Wore a Yellow Ribbon yesterday and woke up today feeling like I should be wearing big hair and cowboy boots. So, I did. Granted the boots are pink - to match the Latexo volleyball shirt (game today!) - but the attitude is the same.

What do cowboy boots and big hair have to do with John Wayne? Well, ever notice how John Wayne was always kick ass? It was the boots. Promise you. Can you imagine him walking across the desert with Sam in loafers? Or mounting a big ole horse in dress shoes? Maybe it's a Texas thing but I guarantee you, people walk and talk different when they're wearing boots and jeans. It inspires a 'Don't mess with me attitude." (To be fair, there are several ex's I could name who say I ALWAYS had that attitude but I think they are just jealous b/c mine were bigger than theirs!!!) You walk with purpose and say things like 'Useless as a third row on a boar hog' and 'I'll beat you to death and tell God you died' and 'Madder than a mule chewin' bumblebees.' See? I mean, who can hear the words "Never apologize, Mister, it's a sign of weakness" or "I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people. I require the same from them" (cheated here, this is from The Shootist but oh so great!!!) or "I know I'm gonna use good judgement. I haven't lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed... and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't, I won't. The hell I won't" and not feel like wearing boots and jeans?

As for the big hair, again a Texas thing. Ever notice how when your hair is jacked to Jesus people go out of their way to be nice and leave you alone? I had big hair in high school and NO ONE messed with me—of course that might have been because I was learning castrating techniques in ag . . . . might also explain why none of the guys I went to school with wanted to date me. Hmmmmmmmm . . . oh well, their loss. And it came in handy in later years. I don't care how drunk a man is, the castrate word stops him cold in his tracks every time.

And I'll leave y'all with this fine statement "Never ask a man if he's from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you on his own. If he ain't, no need to embarrass him."